Sometimes an adoptee is given more than a handful of non-identifying information. It may be that in his or her case, he or she knows of one side of the family and is seeking out the other half.
An adoptee is provided with rumors about who the other birth parent might have been and the potential circumstances from whence they came. It can be shocking to spend a great deal of time leading one’s search based on these rumors as if they were facts, only to find out that they don’t add up when DNA testing is performed on known relatives.
It can change one’s search, thought to be relatively straightforward, into a mystery. People tend to examine the test subjects or the results of DNA testing before they consider the ramifications of what they suggest; that the rumors were false and the information they thought they had were actually fabricated to cover up the truth.
This can weigh heavily on all the efforts put into one’s search thus far. It may have been months or even years following a specific path because of the information provided was taken as facts instead of “the most likely things that happened”. Unfortunately, most of an adoptee's or a birth parent's search is taking circumstantial evidence and trying to prove or disprove them.
In modern times, we can try and use DNA testing as our litmus test. In some cases, DNA testing cannot be used. However, most of the time, it can and does prove to be the final testimony to whether or not your evidence got you to a specific reality or ruse.
Certainly, part of the journey of a search is reconstructing one’s story. The way we came about, and the efforts taken to finally surrendering us to adoption or separation from our children. Many adoptees seek out the sliver in time leading up to adoption, and the birth families that may be revealing our mysteries about our nature. However, there are mothers who seek to know from the moment of relinquishment on forward that their children thrived in the world they hoped would have been better off without them.
When we are forced to alter that narration, it can become troubling to perceive another version that may spell out a story we were not really willing or wanting to accept. No matter what the outcome, it is important to want to know the truth. Not just the most idyllic version of your verse.